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"You leavethe cat He leaps clear with a little disgruntled chirrup at my bad manners

I fish my phone off the floor, then hold it an inch from my nose as I fulasses fro the roo reat ancestors

"I know, I’et breakfast"

I shuffle into the kitchen with the cat at ley, then ht’s leftovers to reheat in the randmother’s recipe, the best coe on across the hall I was tempted to call the police, but that seehter until it got quiet around one am because, I assume, everyone passed out

Or whatever it is people do after a rousing ga meat loaf into my mouth when a door sla the walk of sha, I head to the front door with my plate and peer out the peephole

There stands the Mountain across the hall, wearing a gray sweatshirt and ot a pair of earbuds in and is thuer across the screen like he’s searching for so?

No That would be ridiculous It’s December in New York City The sun isn’t even up yet; I’d be surprised if the teet the boobs and beers of last night He’s probably nursing a roin area And he couldn’t have hadto Starbucks

He finds whatever he was looking for on his phone, tucks it inside his waistband, and starts to do stretching exercises

You don’t need to stretch to go get coffee

Thein a hallway at quarter past five on a Saturday ht of debauchery, in preparation for a predawn run in the freezing cold

Clearly, he’s not hu alien who enjoys dirty card gaerous urban areas

Fascinated, I watch as he does this whole elaborate routine of bends and flexes, war up his muscles By the time he’s done, I’m exhausted I’s off down the hallway, headed in the opposite direction of the elevators, whichthe stairs

We’re on the nineteenth floor

I wish I had Kellen’s phone number so I could find out who this psychopath is But Kellen and I are only friendly neighbors, not friends who do things together, so I’ood-bye and head to work Theslap It’s a half-block walk to the subway station, but itand wheezing when I get there, despite the cold I’ve got a tread to use, but its current er

It’s another half-block walk to the office I ride the elevator up to the thirty-third floor with Denny, the building’s headme the worst jokes ever invented

Invariably, they involve farts

"An old wo in as alith no prea problem You see, I constantly fart, but my farts don’t smell, and they don’t make any noise, so it hasn’t botheredinto your office’"